Making the announcement - February 2009

I so wish that I had started journaling during my pregnancy…maybe even before. It is hard to remember the order of everything that happened. I’m still going to try to tell the stories because I want the boys to have it so they will know how very much we wanted them…and what we went through to get them here (and honestly, to keep them here)!

So once we found out that we were officially pregnant, I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. I knew, however, that wasn’t the best idea. I was very NEW pregnant, and with what I would learn is called a “clinical” pregnancy. Plus, stuff just happens. Allen and I agreed to wait until I was twelve weeks before making the news public. We knew we had to tell our parents, but we just wanted to make sure things were good before announcing to everyone.

Our parents KNEW we had done the invitro cycle. Mom especially drove me crazy. “When are you going for your pregnancy test?” was the question asked lots! I finally told her we would be able to tell them something by Christmas. Once we heard we had to take all three of the blood tests for confirmation, we wanted to just be sure.

Christmas 2008 was on a Thursday. On the Tuesday night before, Mom and Dad came over for dinner. After dinner, we were sitting in the living room. I had finally, just for grins and giggles, done the home pregnancy test. I bought the one that actually said the word “pregnant” so there wouldn’t be any confusion. I handed it to Mom. She looked at it and PROMPTLY started gagging. Sympathy morning sickness? Excitement? Who knows! It was funny, though. We knew Nana Lynn and GrandBob would be excited…and they were. Mom’s phrase she couldn’t wait to share was “first there was one…then there were four!” Camilla had announced not too much before me that she was pregnant and due in May, so there would eventually be Jonah, Edie, Colin and Ethan.

Christmas Day, we had my parents and Allen’s parents over for dinner. I told them “we have some news…I am pregnant…(pregnant, ha, pause here)…with twins! Tommie (Allen’s mom) started crying and wouldn’t/couldn’t stop saying “Really? Really?” I told her after everything we’d been through I certainly wouldn’t be lying about that!!

The rough thing for everyone, except maybe for Allen, was keeping the news a secret. Mom kept talking to my tummy saying “grow babies, GROW!” She wanted me to get big quick so she could tell! Well, she got her wish. We finally agreed she could tell on her birthday which was about a month earlier than we’d hoped. The boys (we wouldn’t learn until later they were both boys) just made their presence known early, much to my clothes’ dismay! I remember the day we told…Mom, Margaret and Terry were in a meeting. I showed up with the ultrasound pictures and interrupted their meeting. I think Margaret’s scream might’ve been heard around the world! Mom called Julia, Biddie and Susanne. When I got back in the car, my phone rang…and it was Julia. I remember her saying “Michelle…you are living your dream!” She and Tom had prayed for me so much about a spouse and family…and it was coming true!

Mom and Dad had Mema and Troy, Kevin, Camilla and Jonah over…I think to celebrate her birthday. I do not remember now the exact dates…we might’ve even told them first…maybe even the weekend before telling everyone else. We were sitting around after dinner. Jonah and I were talking and I said “Jonah, can you say babies?” Before the word “babies” could come out of his mouth, which it did, Camilla’s head whipped around and her eyes got really big. I asked Jonah “can you say ‘Aunt Chelle’ is going to have babies?’” Well…Kevin came over and grabbed me in this really big hug and squeezed me so tight that I finally had to tell him “LET ME GO - I CAN’T BREATHE!” When we finally got to telling the details to my grandparents, I will NEVER forget Mema saying “are you big enough to carry twins?” We got a good laugh over that.

The news spread like wildfire. My way of telling was “I’m pregnant…with twins!” I think back now on the different reactions and how sweet most everyone was…and so excited for us! It is such a blessing to have family and friends that are so supportive. Boy, we didn’t know just how much we would need their support!

Quick Ethan update - Wed 01/20/2010

We liked Ethan's neurologist. She has some ideas and will be reviewing all of his previous tests before deciding what is next. There are still many, many possibilities of what could be causing Ethan's issues. I just keep reminding myself how very well he is doing right now and keep hoping for continued good news.

How it all began - December 2008

The boys are almost six months old now. I think, for the first time since they were born, that I feel like I can take a long enough break to tell you our story.

Allen and I got married late, according to some people’s norms. I think God’s timing is perfect! We talked about having children so when I went to see my gynecologist for my annual check-up, I mentioned the situation to him. He said, because of my age, let’s go ahead and do some testing on you and your husband so we don’t waste any time. Test after test later, we were told that we would most likely have to have help to get pregnant. Dr. Bardwell did a couple of procedures in his office with no result of pregnancy. That was in the summer of 2006.

In October of 2006, Allen and I met with a fertility specialist. Dr. Hasty looked at our test results and was encouraging, so we went forward with a cycle of invitro fertilization in December. We were not successful. I was heartbroken. They did transfer an embryo but it didn’t “take.” We talked to a counselor who said that “emotional miscarriage” is very real, so I took lots of time to grieve. Almost nine months to be exact! Allen kept asking me “what are we going to do” and I wouldn’t discuss it until September of 2007. I finally decided I wanted to try again, if Allen was still OK with it. You see, invitro is expensive and we didn’t have insurance coverage for it, so not only was it an emotional decision, but a financial one as well.

We had better results this time! On Monday, December 8, 2008, the doctor transferred two embryos. On Thursday, December 18, we went for our first blood test. I didn’t cheat and take an at-home pregnancy test, but was CRAZY to know! When we got to the appointment for the blood test, the nurse said “Dr. Hasty will call you this afternoon with the results.” WHAT – WE HAD TO WAIT?! So I asked “would you please have them call Allen?” I was going back to work and just didn’t want to get bad news. At 3:00 that afternoon, my cell phone rang and the caller I.D. showed “Dr. Hasty.” I said a bad word then answered the phone. Dr. Hasty said “Michelle, I am so happy that I get to call you with this news…and I am now seeing that I was supposed to call Allen!” I said “oh who cares since the news is good!” She called Allen anyway and then Allen and I talked on the phone. I was afraid to MOVE…didn’t want to do ANYTHING to risk losing the babies. Yes, babies. When Dr. Hasty called, she told us based on the levels that it was very likely that both embryos were still there. THEN we found out we didn’t just have to have one blood test…but 3! Something about it being not a natural pregnancy, they want to make sure the numbers keep going up. So we went back Saturday and then again on Tuesday. The numbers kept climbing so yes, I was officially pregnant!

Mommy's (Michelle's) update

Allen and I are so thankful for the prayers, food and help that our church family has done for us. We have felt completely supported in so many ways and are even humbled by the number of you that don't really even know us (some not at all) but have been willing to give anyway. Your generosity has been a blessing.
Colin...as Mom says, is doing very well. We think he is "stinking" cute! The skin issue...I keep thinking it COULD be a milk allergy, but am hesitant to change his formula to soy. We all know that internet research can be both good and bad. The 'stuff' I have seen on giving soy to infant boys isn't good...there is a lot of controversy over the amount of estrogen in soy and what that can do to boys during puberty and adulthood. Please pray for wisdom..and a CLEAR, RIGHT answer for his skin. Healing would be the best. Second to that I will take a non-medical cream or new formula or SOMETHING to give him relief. The other problem I have is putting too much cortisone on his skin. It doesn't seem to help all that much and it is a medicine, nothing does to be honest. I don't want to give either of the boys medicine unless it is absolutely necessary.
Ethan...sweet, sweet Ethan! We have made a change in his position while he eats and so far, so good. He still has spit-ups...but the throw-ups are less, even with the tube in the dreaded left nostril. The best news I can give you is that starting this past Saturday (I don't believe in coincidences so if this is when you got Mom's email and started praying, all I can say is YAY!), Ethan has just been showing improvements that Allen and I are so pleased about. We started earlier this month increasing the amount of formula. It is very frustrating because when he was throwing up so much, the first answer was "don't feed him so much." That never seemed to solve the problem and I think that ultimately we just haven't been feeding him enough. He still has times of "where are you Ethan" where he just doesn't seem alert or care to move. But those times are less and the movement and talking and interaction ARE better! His physical therapist said yesterday "a few weeks ago I was really worried about him, but not any more!" She was very pleased at how he is not only holding his head up, but moving it around (even SOME to the left on his own). He is also starting to finally pick up his legs more. He has been moving them back and forth, but only this weekend have we seen him actually lifting his legs off of the ground (or whatever he is on). Last night I grabbed his feet to pick them up and let him "hold his toes." He straightened his legs out strong, lifted up his butt and I could NOT believe how strong he felt!
So keep on keeping on with us...we want you right there with us when we rejoice as we pull the tube out for the last time (Mommy can't WAIT!)! You are precious to us and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

Nana's update

Dear family and friends - so many of you have asked for an update on the boys and I know so many of you are faithfully praying for them and especially Ethan - thank you for asking and for continuing to pray -
Colin is doing very well - he is cute beyond and we think his smile is the best - he smiles with every thing he has and it makes us all smile and laugh - please pray for healing for his skin - he has very dry skin and eczema and itches - especially at night which interferes with his sleep -
Ethan is just a beautiful boy - he is so handsome - recently his physical therapist made a comment which has given me a new direction to pray for him - Ethan has benign hypotonia (low muscle tone) = he also was put back on a ng feeding tube because when he was sucking due to "immaturity" in his throat and vocal cord area he was aspirating and at risk for pneumonia - the only formula he can take by mouth is literally the thickness of honey and he cannot suck enough of it to live - thus the feeding tube - and along with the tube he has had lots of throwups, and has lost interest in sucking which is not uncommon - it has been very intense and challenging for Michelle and Allen - they are praying and we are praying that whatever needs to heal and mature in his body will be healed so that he can take regular milk again and that he will quickly learn to suck - he is scheduled for another "swallow" test at the end of this month - we are praying it will show a change - also, he does better with the tube in his right nostril - that also is not uncommon we are told that one side will be better - but it does have to be changed and this week he will probably have to be switched back and pray that he will tolerate it well and not throw up so much. the third issue he has - about a month after birth he manifested a muscle knot in his neck which is diagnosed as torticollis - probably from the position he was in the womb - that has shown very slow if any improvement and if not healed soon, doctors are talking surgery - which we so do not want him to have to go through - so that day the therapist remarked how the feeding issue keeps him from gaining strength and the hypotonia and neck issue are all three working against him - that reminded me of the scripture in Ec 4:2 which says "... a threefold cord is not quickly broken", so would you pray with us that this threefold cord of torticollis, hypotonia, and eating would be broken from working against Ethan and that each of these things will begin to heal - he has an appointment next Wednesday, the 20th, with a pediatric neurologist who specializes in neuromuscular issues - please pray that God would direct her in any testing and for a good report - as many of you know many tests have been run on Ethan and so far, no bad diagnosis has been spoken or found - and we are grateful for every negative test result. Everyone has said that he will be developmentally slow but that he will get there - I am thankful for that but also want you to know that the family is crying out for and believing for his healing - we would love to see a "suddenly" and thank you for praying with us - blessings to all, lynn