Sunday, March 21, 2010

Everything I know, I've learned by being a Mom

Seriously, I think I am pretty smart.  Mom and Dad did a great job...I think I have a good balance of book knowledge, people skills and common sense.  I say all of that without pride...because all of a sudden, I wonder where all of those "smarts" went?!?!

When it comes to being a mother, I have a lot to learn.  For instance...today we took Colin and Ethan to have their Spring/Easter pictures made.  I took a ton of stuff...toys, changes of clothes, Easter baskets, etc.  The reality is...we had about 10 minutes of "good" time...but not the same 10 minutes for either baby!  When the photographer first starting shooting, Colin was smiling and talking.  Ethan had his serious face on wondering "where the heck am I and what is going on?"  Then about the time Ethan got comfortable enough to smile, Colin went into FULL meltdown.  Tears streaming down his face and everything!

Turns out, he was STARVING.  This mother had forgotten to check the schedule before we left or I would've KNOWN he needed to eat BEFORE we left!!  Oh well...in the end, we got some cute shots.   My biggest SAD for the day is that we didn't get one of both boys smiling at the same time.  At least now I have a goal...it is good to have goals, right?  Maybe when the boys are, what...8?, I can get a picture where they are both smiling?  Just promise them an ice cream or new game?  Can't do that with 7-1/2 month olds!!  Boy do I have a lot to learn!!



Friday, March 12, 2010

It's a "good" Friday!

No, it isn't Good Friday yet...but my dad always says "every Friday is good."  Today has been a really good day for me in some ways...and sad, too.  I always like to talk about the bad news first and end with the good news (Mom, did you teach me that?).  It has rained most of today and I am thankful for the rain.  But I have been sad today...missing sweet Julia.  I can even hear her voice in my memories and just wish it were out loud and she was sitting right here with me!  I guess that is what grief is but today caught me off guard.  I wasn't expecting to just feel so sad.  I think maybe I just wish she could see (and I guess she does KNOW) the boys - how much they are growing and how good they are doing!


Colin is watching me type.  He is in his exersaucer and pretty much "done" with it and wishing for my attention.  Give me a few more minutes, pumpkin!  He is almost 20 pounds and is really trying hard to sit up on his own.  He does pretty good until something distracts him and then he just falls right over!  He is also wanting to be on the move.  When he has tummy-time, he gets his arms and legs going and I just KNOW that as soon as he figures out crawling, there will be no stopping him!!  He has always had this wonderful really big smile that lights up his whole face.  I hope he ALWAYS has that great smile...and lots of reasons to use it!!

Ethan is on day 9 of having a g-tube (a tube in his tummy instead of his nose) for his feedings.  The throw-ups are still happening, but less often and if they do happen they are (most of the time) not as much.  That is so great!  We weighed him today and he is 16 pounds.  I'm really excited about that because it means he has gained in spite of all of the throw-ups.  He is still sleeping A LOT, but I am hoping that is just because he isn't getting all of his calories and/or maybe just doing some serious growing!  He is strong enough now that he reaches and grabs his toes on his own.  And hallelujah, he has even started SUCKING his thumb and chomping on his pacifier.  He still doesn't really want any formula in his mouth, but the sucking and chomping are really good progress for a week!  More, Lord...please!!  He has lots to smile about too...I think he is REALLY glad to have the tube out of his nose and throat and the tape off his face.  He seems to be talking more and his voice is stronger, too.  These are all great things and I am so thankful!!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Ethan has no more tape on his face!

Ethan had surgery on Wednesday, March 3 to have a g-tube (PEG) put in his tummy.  He is quite our little trooper.  The anesthesiologist was very concerned about Ethan's low tone and how he would react to being put to sleep.   She warned us that he might have to be on a ventilator and/or oxygen if he was slow to start breathing on his own.  I think that took all of my focus off the negatives of the procedure itself - all I was focused on was him waking up and breathing on his own!

She came in and said "he did perfect!"  He had zero problems and I was so relieved!  It was a while before we could see him.  They kept waffling from bringing him back to his pre-op room or waiting for us to see him when they got him to a room.  Thankfully they brought him to us in pre-op and he looked so good!  I pulled his little (purple, much to Allen's dismay) gown up and looked at the PEG...it wasn't NEARLY as "bad" as I was expecting.  I was sssooooo relieved.  It does stick up a bit more than I was expecting.  They equate it to getting an ear pierced - the skin around the tube will heal and it won't hurt him at all.  Right now, it is still pretty tender and hard to clean, but we are doing our best to follow instructions to avoid anything gross.

We ended up on the surgical floor and not on the G.I. floor.  I was disappointed because Shana Owen was working and even if she wasn't our nurse I knew I could count on her help.  However, I have to say that we have 3 really wonderful nurses. The first nurse was my least favorite and she was still great.  Because of Ethan's neck problems, when he was laying in his crib he was facing the wall away from us.  We got permission to turn him around and it was so much better!  He could see us from his bed and I think he felt better.  I felt better because I didn't constantly have to stand next to his bed!  The night nurse and the nurse we had Thursday were just awesome!  They were pleased with how well I was doing with the g-tube.  Apparently, LOTS of parents have regrets and don't want to handle the tube.  I am not like that.  I wanted to learn and do as much as possible so I don't have any surprises here at home!

Things are going well.  Ethan doesn't really seem to have any pain.  He is tender when I have to move it to change his diaper or clean around it, but he still doesn't cry.  The hardest part now is that he is not getting nearly the amount of calories he needs.  We have to build back up to the quantity...but the main thing is for him to manage his feeds (or not throw up).  He went for almost 24 hours without throwing up but then had a really bad episode after his 1 o'clock feeding this afternoon.  He is eating now and I am on pins and needles although I laugh at myself for being so anxious.  He either will or he won't, right?!  He has thrown up so much...I just hate him having to go through this.

The best part is being able to see his whole face and his sweet smile with no tape!  This picture was taken Wednesay afternoon after surgery.  He was being really cute!